The journey of recovery from mental illness is counter intuitive. You work hard, you utilise every ounce of strength you have to march towards your destination, without the foggiest idea what that destination looks like.
You must have faith that whatever it is will be better than where you are now.
For a long time, I was unable to envision a future I wanted. I tried to picture a life that most people look towards: a bustling career, travelling the globe, adopting pets and maybe one day having a family.
Nothing ignited a spark in me.
Nothing made me feel like the journey could be worthwhile.
It’s important to note, here, that feeling a lack of purpose is often a symptom of mental illness, rather than the cause of it. Sometimes, when mental illness is treated properly and recovery is achieved, those things that didn’t seem to interest you before suddenly light up again and your purpose can be re-discovered, rather than found.
But this wasn’t the case for me. My purpose had not yet been forged, no matter what mental state or life situation I found myself in. I wanted to find my dream job, the thing I was supposed to do, my vocation, my passion, my purpose.
I found fragments of things that excited me.
I’ve always liked writing and after stepping out of my retail and hospitality comfort zone, my writing skills allowed me to worm my way into a marketing career that I enjoy.
When able to cherish time with friends, I realised that making connections with kind hearted souls and sharing laughter over a homemade vegan dinner constitutes something important to me.
When prioritising my family, I found that being a sister, a daughter and an auntie are three individual yet equally important jobs that fill my heart to the brim.
All of this made me happy, sure, but what was my purpose? What should I be dedicating my life to, what mission am I on to make all of this worth something?
In February 2023, I discovered art.
At first I sketched and painted, then a friend introduced me to clay sculpting and I fell in love. The feeling of my hands being busy, of creating something from nothing, the sense of achievement and pride I could get from making something beautiful and gifting it to a friend all helped to clear my head and excite me.
I felt like I had found myself again. The child within me that had ideas and always followed them through, always creating, always making. She was here all this time and now she’s awake.
My mental health skyrocketed. I felt happier, calmer, able to think and feel separately and able to process each day and the emotions that came with it.
It clicked. My purpose.
I want others to feel this way. I want to put art in front of other people, point and say ‘How good does that make you feel?’. I know that not everyone can help to ease the symptoms of their mental illnesses through arts and crafts, but if I can allow one person to feel that, I will have done something amazing.
So that’s what I’ve been doing.
I create art from a little makeshift pottery studio in a corner of my living room. I share tips, tricks and prompts with other people online. I host live workshops to bring a small community of people together, where we craft, chat and laugh.
This is my purpose. I don’t imagine myself ever becoming a full-time artist or making a living from what I do, but that doesn’t mean it’s not something I can fully dedicate my time, efforts and actions into.
My purpose is to make art and inspire people.
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