I started writing this blog about 10 years ago. I was an incredibly naive fifteen year old kid and I'm so glad I captured those memories. It allows me to remember who I was and picture what I was up to then.
Not to blow my own trumpet too hard, but I have a feeling that 15 year old Nadine would be incredibly excited to get to where I am now.
I dreamt of living in a new city, falling in love, using my creativity to make a living and overall, building a life and a home for myself.
Not only have I achieved a life that I wished for and sketched up in an old notebook, my dreams have only grown bigger and I've become the kind of person who truly tries.
It hasn't been an easy decade.
Mental illnesses quickly crept up and wreaked havoc on my motivation and self worth. I found myself in a very long, very tough relationship with a selfish somebody who never considered my feelings. My heart was broken repeatedly which didn't exactly help guide me out of my depression.
At one point, I found myself an unemployed university drop-out. I convinced myself I'd never had big hopes for my life, it was much easier than grasping for whatever hope I had left.
Things changed. I stumbled into the right path with the right people. The world saw something in me I didn't realise was still there, and these people fiercely helped me take life back into my own hands.
I put myself first.
I fell in love, I gave myself a chance to try out a career I cared for. I put my foot in the door, I became an information sponge, learning as much as I could about anything I could. I worked harder than ever, but it didn't feel that way, because I enjoyed every second.
I used my creativity to make a living. I moved to London with the love of my life. I spend my days in a place I've made home for myself. I built myself a life.
Mental illness still takes a very heavy toll on my life, but I have learnt to sometimes manage it. Not always, but sometimes.
I'm proud of where I have taken my fifteen year old self in these past ten years.
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